


Sisters of Flame

by ADashOfStarshine (ADashOfInsanity)



Category: Fire Emblem: Seisen no Keifu | Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-20
Updated: 2014-08-06
Packaged: 2018-01-20 04:32:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1496776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ADashOfInsanity/pseuds/ADashOfStarshine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The life of a noblewoman is never easy. Add illegitimacy, and a powerful Duchess of a sister, and that life becomes a juggling act of personality and propriety. </p><p>A tale of two noble sisters, the men they encounter, and a lot of fire.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It turned out nothing scared grown men more than a confident young woman who knew what she was talking about. It also helped that said young woman was very tall, possessed great beauty, and had the power to incinerate an entire meeting room if she so wished. The way she could get what she wanted had been proclaimed “horrifying”, “unnatural” and most of all “unwomanly”. Azel however, didn’t care what they thought because her big sister was the best anyone could ever ask for.

She did get scarily angry sometimes, but Azel didn’t like to think of those moments.

Better to remember that time when the Lord Sigurd of Chalphy had proposed to her. It had been very brave of Lord Sigurd and Azel still admired him for taking the risk. Still, it had been very funny at the time. She remembered sitting with Aideen and Tiltyu on a circular bench. They were laughing at the boys who were trying to show off for Aideen’s attention.  Everyone wanted Aideen’s attention, regardless of whether they wanted to marry her. She was kind, pretty and she always knew what to say to make someone feel better. Sometimes Azel wanted to be like her just as much as she wanted to be like Alvis. However she couldn’t say that to Alvis of course, she probably would stop Azel from ever seeing Aideen again.

On that particular day, she had been so engrossed in what Aideen had been saying, she hadn’t noticed exactly when the important meeting ended. She did however see Alvis come striding out. When he had seen her, Sigurd had dropped his sword, called for his squire to fetch him his coat, and then proceeded to walk out in front of her and fall to one knee. Aideen and Tiltyu thought it was hilarious from the get go but they had never seen Alvis in her mad moments.  Azel had been very relieved when her big sister had merely taken the flowers off the unfortunate man and told him to look elsewhere. The carriage ride home after that had been a bit awkward though. Azel really wanted to ask what she thought of the whole incident but knew better than to ask. It wasn’t the first time Alvis had disappointed a suitor and it certainly wasn’t the last. Azel had never asked how many though.

Right now however, she didn’t really have the luxury of choosing not to talk to her sister. If she didn’t go to Alvis she would be forever taunted by those horrible men. Yet if she did go to her sister and Alvis already knew of their rumours… she didn’t want to think about it! All her life she had followed her sister’s example, this included her advice on how to deal with the attentions of men. Surely she would take her side now?  Alvis had defended her against all those horrible mutterings about her illegitimacy. Surely these rumours were just another stage in that vile bullying? Still, Azel couldn’t bring herself to knock upon the door. She felt like she was going to cry but surely crying would be another stain upon her honour?

“Come in Azel,” came the imperious command. Azel jumped and her tears threatened to spill. Alvis knew she was there! She entered, trembling slightly.

Alvis sat at their father’s desk.  The blazing fire, which stood someway behind the desk, transformed her into a foreboding shadow. Azel couldn’t help but think that once upon a time their father’s shadow would have been the one sitting right there, glaring at his guests. After what their father had done…oh if Alvis believed the rumours she’d be even angrier!

 Azel began to cry.

“Livvy!”

 She hurried over to her big sister, trying to wipe her eyes on her sleeves, stumbling over her gown as she tried to blindly navigate around tables and chairs.

“Azel!” Alvis sounded both stern and surprised. At least she wasn’t angry yet.

 “What is the matter? You haven’t called me that in years.”

“The…the men… the men who give you messages they…they are telling everyone… everyone in the castle and I think they are telling everyone else too but I don’t know because I haven’t seen everyone else recently, but I don’t-“

Alvis interrupted her.

“Calm down,” she took hold of Azel’s hands and moved them away from her reddened eyes. She took a handkerchief from a desk drawer and handed it to her.

“Tell me what happened.”

“The men…” Azel began again, “The men… they…”

“Which men?” Alvis drew a chair closer and Azel obediently sat. She was both scared and embarrassed now. It was true, she hadn’t called her sister by her old pet name since she was six years old. She must look so foolish!

“The ambassadors, the messengers from the dukes,” she managed with a loud sniffle, “They…they were talking and…and now there’s a rumour going round. A rumour about me and how I’ve brought shame upon you!”

“Ah.” That seemed to be a very neutral answer and whilst it wasn’t angry, Azel was still trembling in her seat.

“This would explain the crude letter I received from Lex of Dozel.” Alvis picked up a folded piece of parchment off her desk.

“Lex sent you a letter?” Azel couldn’t tell if this was a good turn of events or not. Alvis did not like Lex at all and had forbid Azel from even entertaining the idea of marrying him. Azel rather liked Lex as a friend but she would never have him as a husband, not if her sister banned it.

“He did,” Alvis cleared her throat and read aloud.

_“Dear Duchess Alvis of Velthomer,_

_I am sure that you are aware of the spiteful rumours being passed round of late considering your little sister and I. I can promise you, and I will swear it on any number of oaths, family members and even graves, that I have never slept in any way with your sister. We have not even shared a room, tent or other sleeping place let alone done any acts, or dishonoured anyone’s families or ourselves or anything. There is no need to take any action concerning your little sister and I, we are entirely blameless in this procedure. I would not put it past my father to have initiated this spite though of course it could be any of the old men._

_Yours faithfully_

_Lex of Dozel.”_

“He is rather crude,” Azel commented. She had cringed a little at his bluntness, embarrassed for her friend though he would never feel, or admit to feeling, the same. The letter was clearly frantically written. She had never imagined Lex being panicked before. The consequences would have damned her far more than him. Still, at least he had the bravery to act quickly upon his fear.

“Indeed. I shall have the ambassadors made an example of if they do not stop with their rumour-mongering,” Alvis concluded, “I’ve already sent a strongly worded letter to Prince Kurth, he should be able to gather the offending messengers.”

“Thank you Liv..Lady Sister!” Relief, cold like a night breeze after a summer day, swept over her.  She relaxed in her seat a little and stared up at her sister’s expression. Alvis’ frown had softened a little.

“Azel, we are alone, you may call me by name. Is there any other matter you wish to bring up with me?”

“No Lady Sis…Alvis. I don’t want to interrupt anything important.” Azel got up, stumbling a little on the formal gown she had donned for this meeting.

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Alvis leaned over and detached one of her sleeves from the corner of the desk, “Change into something more practical… I believe it is time for a magic lesson.”

Azel clapped her hands together and gasped.

“Really?”

“Yes. I have some time. I’d rather leave that ridiculous peacock at the door than think he could come in and court me.”

“I’ll go change right away!”   Even if it was a way to blatantly ignore one of her sister’s suitors, Azel was never going to refuse a chance to learn magic with her. Lifting her skirts to ankle height, she hurried from the room as Alvis smiled a little and began to gather up her papers.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Azel goes to war and has mixed feelings about what she finds there. Alvis is her usual self.

Azel was prepared to bet everything she owned that Alvis had never set her own hair on fire. Scratch that, she was prepared to bet her life that Alvis had never set her own hair on fire, despite how long and luxurious it was. Azel had never managed to grow her hair as long as Alvis’ without some kind of accident. Now, once again, she was sat in front of the large mirror in her room as her old nurse snipped away, grumbling about carelessness and waste. Azel was used to having short hair by now. She loved how her sister’s looked but she knew she didn’t have quite the imposing form to carry such large hair off. Her hair seemed to agree. Whilst Alvis could achieve a magnificent bushiness, her hair always fell lank and slightly curled around her shoulders. It was just simpler to have short hair, however much her nurse said it made her look like a boy. 

Then there was that whole fiasco about wearing shorts. Azel knew how to carry herself in a ballgown, she had been drilled in court etiquette since she was small. Day-gowns, summer dresses, and pinafores all came naturally but they simply were not practical for when you were either in hurry, or casting magic. Alvis had solved that problem by wearing a robe with slits down each side for movement. She also wore those impossibly high boots that Azel could never work out how she got them on every morning. Azel was never very good with heels and the slit dresses made her feel very exposed without thigh-high footwear like her sister’s. So Alvis had sent her a tailor who had made her a selection of knee-length shorts. They were still fancy enough to be noble attire. If she didn’t wear tights the lace would tickle her knees unbearably. Despite the fact she always did wear tights with them, and a pair of pretty buckled shoes to match, there was always talk of her attire being ‘unwomanly’. Alvis told her to ignore the mutterings but Azel always made sure her tunic or blouse was sufficiently girly enough to avoid too much talk. Combining her hair and the shorts, well, she could only make herself scarce so it didn’t impact on her sister’s reputation too greatly. Alvis didn’t care but then again, she didn’t care about a lot of things that resulted in dirtying her name. Azel had to do her very best to make sure she was not responsible for anything bad and then all she could do was hope for the best.

Her nurse finished snipping at her hair before removing the old blankets she’d draped round Azel’s shoulders. Azel got up, thanked her, before fleeing the nursery as quick as possible. She always felt so small and vulnerable in there. She didn’t need the reminder how much of her life had been at the charity of others. Free of its confines, she headed back to her own room, intending to find the book she had been reading and finish it. The main character reminded her a lot of Ethlin, Lord Sigurd’s little sister who she had met at court last summer. She seemed lively, but sensible. Azel wondered if any of the other noble ladies, like Tiltyu and Aideen, were as scared of gossip as she was. Well they didn’t have amazingly bold older sisters to worry about. Well Aideen did have a sister, but they had been apart for so long. Azel didn’t want to imagine what life without Alvis would be like, however she didn’t think she would ever have to. Alvis wasn’t going anywhere.

“Mistress Azel!”

She had only just sat down with her book when there was a knock on her door. She hastened over to the door and opened it to find a maid outside. 

“What is it?” she inquired.

“The Duchess wishes you to know she’s going to the capital for a while. She’s been called on by the King to supervise the Royal Guard.”

“Why?” Azel couldn’t help but feel a little hurt. Alvis generally took her along when she went to the capital. It was one of Azel’s few chances to go and see her friends.

“She didn’t say Mistress. She left half an hour ago, the King had sent a carriage.”

“It must have been very urgent,” Azel mused aloud, “Aren’t there any rumours or anything?”

The maid shifted slightly in the doorway, opened her mouth, closed it again, and then shook her head. Azel frowned. If the servants seemed hesitant to talk then something was definitely being kept from her. She had become used to this over the years, but usually it was just nasty talk than no one wanted her to hear.

“I could just go ask someone else if my Lady Sister has banned you from mentioning it,” she informed the maid.

“There’s nothing to mention young mistress!” said the maid in an overly-cheerful tone, “Now if you must excuse me!” She turned on her heel and walked quickly back down the corridor. 

Azel leaned against the doorframe, watching her go with a frown on her face. Suddenly she heard a new set of footsteps and saw a messenger, donned in Dozel colours, sprinting towards her. She cursed under her breath. Now, really? Did Lex have no sense whatsoever? What were people going to think?!

“Lady Azel, Lord Lex of Dozel awaits you at the gate. He recommends you come arm and prepared.”

“Tell Lord Lex that he’s a fool to think people won’t talk if he turns up as soon as my sister is out of the castle,” Azel replied as politely as possible, but she knew her frustration was quite evident.  
As if she didn’t have to tremble under so many eyes already! Lex was only making her situation worse.

“Will you be attending on him armed and prepared?”

“Prepared for what?” she asked.

“He will tell you when you see him.”

“Fine, tell him I will be down shortly.” 

The messenger hurried off on his way and Azel put her hands in her pockets as she attempted to shake off her fears. Seriously, Lex had no sense of propriety and place. What was he thinking? Now that messenger was going to go saying how they were having an affair and everyone would want to see her cast out and her sister deposed! That’s how it always ended up!

However he had managed to pique her curiosity. Why armed and prepared? She had no idea why he would come riding here all the way from Dozel. Usually they only met at court, it was how Alvis kept her isolated from everyone she thought was a bad influence. Occasionally Aideen or Tiltyu came over for a stay, but she was only allowed to see anyone else at court, especially if they were male. Azel knew her sister had her best interests at heart, but she didn’t think she could bring herself to marry any of those men anyway. They weren’t really any threat. Dozel was far away and judging by how worn out that messenger was, they had evidently been in a hurry. Did this have anything to do with Alvis’ sudden disappearance and whatever the maid wasn’t telling her about?  
Azel hurried to her room and donned her most practical and robust set of clothing. These consisted of a heavier than usual tunic, which lacked the decoration and frills most of hers had, her white riding breeches and the most sensible pair of shoes and cloak she owned. Alvis had given her a set of what she could only call battle mage attire. They had been pressed upon her about a year ago, and though she knew Alvis would never let her go and fight in Isaac, she had always wondered what great tragedy Alvis thought would happen. Still, the occasion had arisen and she was prepared, she should be thankful. She found her newest fire tome, put it in a pack with a change of identical clothing, dug about in the bottom of her wardrobe for her emergency vulneraries (another precaution of Alvis’) and set off to meet Lex.

When she found him, he was standing in the courtyard looking about at the marble arches. He was in full armour and there was a cruel glint to the axe by his feet. The fact he had his horse with him showed he had no intention of stopping here for a while.

“What’s the matter?” she called, “Did you hear what I told the messenger?”

“Yeah, but this is more important,” said Lex, embracing her quickly and then checking her over to see how she’d come prepared.

“Aideen’s been kidnapped. Verdane’s invading.”

“Aideen!” cried Azel, “What have they done with her? Where are they taking her?”

“Verdane’s capital probably,” Lex replied, “But they’re invading and the only people left to hold them back are Sigurd of Chalphy’s lot.”

Of course, everyone else was fighting the war in Isaac! Azel gripped the strap of her bag tighter as she imagined what horrors Aideen could be going through right this moment. Aideen couldn’t fight back! She had some skill with a bow, from her bloodline of course, but once she had been kidnapped what good would a bow do? She was probably languishing in some horrid dungeons somewhere, dark and dank, the only light coming from her radiant beauty. She would be there, suffering, waiting for someone heroic and bold to save her from her torture! Azel clenched her fist about the bag strap. 

“We have to go and save her!”

“I was thinking we might go and help Sigurd remove a few heads from Verdane and see if that helps her. I guess you’re coming?”

It was unlike Lex to be so openly willing to help anyone. Azel had the distinct impression this was more of a rude gesture to his father than a charitable cause to him, but she wasn’t going to object if it meant she could go to Aideen’s aid. This must be why Alvis had gone to the capital. Also she didn’t want Azel running off to go help Aideen and therefore she’d had the matter kept from her. Azel turned to look up at the entrance. If she left now, Alvis would know where she had gone. It would be polite to leave a note or a message but a little pointless considering she would know. The longer Azel dithered, the longer Aideen would be tortured. 

“Let’s go, let me call for a horse.”

\---------------

Ah! Gods above and Crusaders below! No tutor, be they Alvis or no, had described to her the stench of blood and charred flesh. Never had they let her imagine the sight of once-beautiful fields amassing piles of corpses that stained the trees and grass with their gore. Aideen’s home was beautiful, and remained so, its walls indifferent to the bloody trails of desperate hands. Its floors, once the holders of beautiful balls, were littered with the bodies of innocent maids and armoured men, indifferent to death. Everything was indifferent to death. If she had died on this battlefield…If Lex had died, if Aideen had died, there was no distinguishing them from the fallen masses. War was brutal, it didn’t care who or what you were. Glory was for the victors, but Azel couldn’t help but wonder where this glory was supposed to come from. 

She wanted to go home but she could never say it to Lex. The way he could cleave off a man’s arm and then his head without so much as flinching frightened her. At times he almost seemed to be enjoying himself, laughing as he outwitted his opponents. He cheered at her torrents of flame, which silenced any aggressor in two strikes. The burning screaming men would forever be engraved into Azel’s mind. She wanted to go home. She should have done the proper thing and left the saving people to the warriors, the men. Alvis would return home any moment and discover she was missing. Word would get out. Everyone would believe Azel had disobeyed her sister and brought shame upon her family. Would it be better never to go home? Whilst gone, she could not bring further shame to Alvis. However who would there be to preserve what little decorum their family had? If she didn’t act like a proper noblewoman, who would? Certainly not Alvis. 

She was trapped in this tale of horror. Aideen lay ahead, waiting for her rescue. Alvis lay behind, livid and no doubt ready to banish her from ever having company again. She had no choice but to plough forwards through bodies. She wanted to go back but she had left her horse at Dozel. She wanted to go home but she didn’t want to look like a coward in front of Lex. She had to maintain a hopeless bravado so no one would think ill of her.

Of course Sigurd would then see right through her. She could tell by the way he looked at her even as he thanked her for coming to his aid. Perhaps it was because she was gripping her tome extra tightly, so no one would notice her hands shaking. Perhaps she looked ill. Either way, the fact that Sigurd mentioned her sister could not be mistaken as anything other than a sign of pity. She made her excuses about Alvis being away but his overly-concerned tone didn’t go away. She ended up saying far more than she meant to. Alvis would certainly hate her later!

“I….I don’t think I should say this but…Alvis scares me a lot. I’m not as good as she wants me to be and…and I feel like I’m just a burden on her!”

“Well, I’m glad you came Azel. Feel free to stay as long as you want.”

He was nice but she couldn’t help but feel a simmering sense of shame. She shouldn’t have admitted that! She’d made Alvis look terrible! 

Her pain didn’t stop there. As they advanced into Verdane, she noticed that Sigurd was never too far from her and Lex was sticking to her like a poultice. She attacked with a new speed and ferocity, trying to prove she didn’t need to be watched so thoroughly even if she found her situation horrible. She burnt through bandits with an efficiency only rivalled by a great wave of flame that suddenly decimated a small section of woods, and the four bandits taking shelter in there. Azel gave a little cry as she recognised the undeniable effects of Falaflame. Her fire spells left bodies. Falaflame left nothing but ash. 

She hid behind Lex’s horse as she saw her sister, completely unaffected by the gore about her, stride up to Sigurd, sword in hand. She cut a magnificent figure. She was a goddess clad in red and black, kicking up plumes of ash as she strode towards the awe-struck army, flames still crackling about her fingertips. Azel watched over the horse’s tail and realised she had never felt so small. That was what she wanted to be, yet look at her now. Cowering behind a horse as her sister commanded the attention of every man and woman there. 

“Sir Sigurd,” she announced, “How is your effort faring?” The flames about her fingers went out as she drew nearer.

“Lady Alvis!” Sigurd replied, a note of anxiety in his voice. Azel wondered if this was the first time they’d spoken since Sigurd’s failed proposal. She hadn’t heard of any other meeting.

“What are you doing here?” asked Sigurd.

“His Majesty was concerned, so he sent me to assess the situation. He also sent this with me. It’s for you.” With a flourish she drew the silver blade from its sheath. Azel had no idea she could draw a sword with such ease. Sigurd seemed astonished too, but his eyes were on the blade. He exclaimed his shock and gratitude as he took the sword from her. Azel found it odd that he wasn’t a knight of the realm already. He was leading an army after all. However who was she to comment on how the King ran things?

“Of course,” came Alvis’ acknowledgement, and then came the words that made Azel’s heart sink.

“I hear my little sister has joined your army.”

“Yes…sorry about that,” Sigurd replied awkwardly, “It seems like she left behind your back. We were in a lot of danger so I couldn’t turn her away. If possible, I’d like her to stay with us a little longer. She has been a great help.”

“Only if you swear upon that sword you will keep her safe,” Alvis demanded. Azel hid her gasp behind her hand. Lex wasn’t as subtle. She was making Sigurd swear upon the sword that represented his knighthood? 

“Azel is my only family. We may have different mothers, but she is still my little sister. She means the world to me. “

“I swear to keep her safe,” Sigurd replied, placing one hand upon the flat of his blade, “I’ll make sure she comes home as soon as we are finished here.”

“Good.” There was a moment of silence before, “Sometimes I wish that she and I got along better, but I suppose that is the way these things work. I am leaving her with you in good faith that nothing shall come to harm her. Am I understood?”

“I understand your Ladyship.”

With that, Alvis turned on her heel and began to walk back the way she came, calling over her shoulder

“I have to return to the capital now to watch over His Majesty. Do not disappoint me Sigurd.” 

She raised a hand into the air and warped away.

There was a moment of stunned silence in her wake. Lex turned to look down at Azel who was gripping her tome so hard the bindings were beginning to crack a little. 

“Sheesh, your sister is terrifying,” he commented. Azel merely nodded. She felt like she wanted to cry. However much trouble she caused, however much dishonour she brought… Alvis was prepared to make threats to Sigurd just to keep her little sister safe. She probably knew Azel was there, but still, she had declared such things as Azel meaning the world to her. She had to make Alvis proud! She had to come back from this conflict a bold and talented warrior! She would rend her opponents to ash just like Alvis. She would become so talented men would quake before her and never challenge her honour again! Alvis would never regret the day she had called her dear. Azel would save Aideen and then return home victorious! That must be where the glory in war came from – by making others proud. 

Her ferocity grew with her determination. Soon Lex was leaving her to her own devices, as he could no longer bear the bursts of heat that scorched her enemies before they felt the touch of her flames. She lost count of her felled opponents and only faced the next empty castle with a slight disappointment. They needed to deeper into Verdane to rescue Aideen. That meant she could become even more powerful and show Aideen how much bolder she had become. Aideen would be impressed. She always said such lovely things, now however, Azel could deserve them. 

“Velthomer ladies are terrors,” she heard Sigurd tell his friend from Thracia as they ate that night.

“You’re the one who wedged himself in the middle of them,” the Thracian replied, “Didn’t you ask to marry one of them?”

“That was Lady Alvis, her little sister’s much sweeter,” Sigurd gave an awkward laugh as he spoke, “Can’t blame her though, I would swear death on anyone who hurt Ethlin.”

“You’d have to wait in line for that my friend,” said the Thracian. Azel turned back to her bread. It didn’t seem a bad thing that Sigurd was going to protect her. Still, she’d much rather have it that he didn’t need to.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few new arrivals to Sigurd's army causes Azel to both question her place in the company she keeps and confirm some facts about herself she'd rather her heart ignored.

Deep into the forests of Verdane, Azel was beginning to wonder if the trees were ever going to end. She had to be very careful with her magic here because she really did not want to responsible for a forest fire.  However there were bandits and Verdane soldiers everywhere. She had to fight back and without her magic she was unprotected. Well, she wasn't counting the protection of the man who had decided she was his ward. She knew she had Alvis to blame for that but she was sure her sister hadn’t meant for Sigurd to hound her every movement. He had decided he was meant to be both leading the charge and protecting her at the same time. This meant she was at the very front of the battle and hating every moment of it. She was a mage! She wouldn’t survive if he kept demanding she stayed here. There were only so many times she could dodge horses to keep herself safe!

Of course Lex would have protected her if she backed away. Emphasis on _would have_ , because he had found quite the distraction. Even in the middle of the battle, Azel could tell he was eying up the Princess of Isaac and it was disgusting. If he kept his eyes off her thighs and on the enemy a little longer then maybe he wouldn’t have blood pouring from his arm. Azel was not available to help him right now. She was too busy trying to survive and slowly back away to a safe distance that lacked the chance of producing country-wide fires. So much of Verdane seemed to be woodland. Their princes may be evil but they didn’t deserve to have their wildlife torched. Besides, how would they ever find Aideen if everything was ablaze? Aideen wouldn’t think she was a hero if she ruined innocent people’s livelihoods with her magic. Aideen would want the minimum amount of casualties. She wouldn’t want people getting hurt for her sake.  Azel made sure the accuracy of her magic was as great as its power. She had tried to show off her ferocity at the border but now she had more to worry about than showing what she could do.

Annoyingly, Azel never saw the moment when their army first discovered Aideen and her new thief friend.  She was too busy fighting off a pair of pirates who thought it would be a great idea to take advantage of confusion and take off with a small mage girl as their prisoner. She set their heads on fire for daring to entertain such notions and dissuaded their comrades from coming anywhere near her.  When she re-joined the main army a few moment later, she saw that Sigurd was talking to a very familiar figure. She hurried over at once, but it seemed the battlefield was not an adequate place for a reunion. She was soon dragged to one side to engage yet more pirates who seemed to be getting stupider with every group of reinforcements. As soon as they had finished fighting however, she hastened to Aideen, nervously tip-toeing nearby as she talked to Ethlin and then Sigurd. It was only when the Chalphy siblings moved away that Aideen noticed her.

“Azel?”

“Lady Aideen!” Azel suddenly felt rather awkward. She had been preparing for this moment since she left home with Lex. Why did she have to get scared now?

“You’re…you’re not hurt are you?” she asked.  Heroic bravado, that was what she needed. She was here to be Aideen’s hero. She had to act like it!

“You came to help too did you?” Aideen approached her and Azel felt a tightening in her throat that did not make talking any easier.

“Yes, when I heard you had…had been kidnapped, I came as fast as I could! I couldn’t think of doing anything else!”

Aideen smiled and Azel’s heart leapt.  Ah, even after going through all that, after being chased through a bloody battlefield, Lady Aideen was still ever so beautiful.  If she was a man perhaps Aideen would have kissed her in thanks. Regretfully, that could not be the case.

“Did you get Lady Alvis’ permission to come here?” Aideen asked, that enchanting smile turning from one of gratitude to that of amusement.

“No,” Azel said in a small voice, “She probably isn’t going to be very happy with me when I go home.”

Aideen laughed.

“Why did you do such a silly thing then? You’re not a warrior. I thought you hated fighting.”  
  
“Well I…” Azel couldn’t explain it to her. It was too embarrassing but she must! She hadn’t come this far for Aideen to laugh at her for her efforts. She had to explain!

“IwantedtobeyourheroineandgetakissfromyouwhenIsavedyou!”  
  
“What's that?”  Aideen merely looked confused and Azel lost courage instantly.

“Erm, never mind. I’m just…really glad you’re safe.”

“You too Azel, please don’t do anything silly like this again.”

Azel merely nodded, too mortified to come up with a proper response.  She went and sat with the others, saying nothing and merely staring at the contents of her pack as she considered rearranging them. Aideen thought she was silly for coming. She didn’t think she was a hero, not even worthy of the slightest bit of praise. She got a few odd looks as she curled up at the base of a tree and buried her face in her knees.  She wouldn’t cry in front of all these people. Still, why had she come if Aideen didn’t even appreciate it? Well, Aideen was safe now. Sigurd would look after her. Her work here was done and she could go home to Alvis where everything was safe and normal. She began organising her pack for the journey home. She would have to buy a horse as soon as possible. She had made a surprising amount of gold in her travels. She could afford to stay in inns all the way back to Velthomer.

She wondered how everyone would react to her leaving. They probably wouldn’t care. The plan was to tell Sigurd first thing tomorrow morning before she left. She needed to rest after fighting so hard today, so she couldn’t leave right now.  The order of business was to go into the nearby town tomorrow morning to see if anyone had any horses for sale and then comfortably travel from town to town back to her home where Alvis would be pleased at her return. She would never have to fight a battle again. However, as she had come all this way for her, she would tell Aideen tonight that her not so heroic quest was over. She ought to know first.

After their evening meal, and after Sigurd had gone into the nearby town with a small group to buy supplies, she went to talk to Aideen.  Like always, she had already amassed a little group of admirers. Midir, her bow wielding knight, sat at one side, whilst Dew the thief talked away at her other. She drew people towards her like moths to a flame. Her radiance making all drawn to her stand there in awe and wonder how such perfection could exist in these sorry times.  She was intoxicating and even though Azel knew there was no hope for them, just the sight of Aideen made her pray for the impossible.

“Aideen.” She announced her presence, careful not to stumble over her words this time.

“Yes Azel?”

“Can I talk to you…alone for a moment?”

“Of course.” She swept to her feet and followed Azel towards an unoccupied tent. Once they were out of earshot of her admirers, Azel turned to Aideen and said.

“I just wanted to say goodbye before I go home tomorrow.”

“You’re going home?” Aideen sounded surprised. Azel couldn’t fathom why she should be. Hadn’t she just said it was silly that Azel was here in the first place?

“Yes, Sigurd promised I would be home as soon as I’d finished my business and…that business was saving you. So I’m going home now before I cause any trouble for anyone.”

“You’re just leaving midway through this war? Don’t you think Sigurd wants your help?”

“You said that it was silly that I was even here,” Azel pointed out. She couldn’t keep the hurt from her voice. There was a moment of silence. Azel wondered what could possibly be going through Aideen’s thoughts right now. Was she ashamed of her for running away? Was she going to report her to Sigurd when he got back? She should just make her excuses now before she began to feel guilty for her decision. She had to go home. She had to return to Alvis. She didn’t like war and Aideen could not change her mind about-!

“Stay with me Azel.”

She was smiling. Why did she have to be smiling? She lit up any room just by being there, yet when she smiled it was as if she radiated blessings on all she saw. Azel’s chest felt painful. She couldn’t resist that smile, not when Aideen was smiling especially for her.

“Alvis wants me home,” she stammered out.

“Alvis doesn’t need you there,” Aideen replied, “But Lord Sigurd and this army need you to protect our home. I need you here so I don’t get left at the mercy of all these men. I’d be rather lonely if you weren’t here.”

Azel felt like she was going to cry. She wanted to go home. She didn’t want to fight anymore! Yet if she left then Aideen would be at the mercy of all these knights and warriors. After what had happened here in Verdane, of course she would be frightened. The women here were certainly out-numbered and whilst Aira commanded the fear and respect of all, Ethlin was protected by her husband, and she was Sigurd’s ward... who was there dedicated to protect Aideen? Even now she could be Aideen’s hero, Aideen’s own magical knight. The wonderful dreams of receiving a kiss from Aideen for her bravery were still with those of going home though. She wanted to be back where it was safe with Alvis.

“Please Azel.”  Aideen took one of Azel’s hands with her own. Her hands were so soft.  Why did she have to be so perfect?

Azel wavered and then crumpled.

“I’ll stay,” she promised. Aideen hugged her and Azel couldn’t help but think all the killing had been worth it. Aideen even smelled pleasant. How was that even possible when one had just stepped off a battlefield? She was too extraordinary, she was making Azel lose all reason. Oh the things people would do for love, the story books of her childhood were correct! Azel would dream away her whole life pretending to be Aideen's knight if she could just, occasionally, belong in those arms. 

\----

Needless to say she soon came to regret making her decision in that moment of bliss. As they advanced further into Verdane, Aideen began to talk of a prince that had freed her from her captivity. Apparently he was a handsome archer who was unlike the rest of his evil family. Azel, on instinct, did not like him. No man could be as perfect as Aideen was describing. A basic act of morality was nothing to applaud. Any decent person would have let Aideen go from that prison cell. The prince had kept company with a child thief by the looks of things. That must tell what kind of person he was, getting children to do his dirty work was despicable!

Of course said prince had to then join their army.

“Are you alright?” asked Sigurd as they camped in an area between two large forests. Azel was always assigned to a tent near Sigurd’s. She was supposed to be sharing with Aideen but Aideen was nowhere to be found. Undoubtedly she was with Prince Jamke up a tree somewhere. So much for having Azel as her knight.

“I’m fine,” she lied, toying with the flap as she sat at her tent’s entrance.  She looked up to see Sigurd looked somewhat awkward.

“What’s the matter my Lord?”

“I was wondering if you would sit with Deirdre whilst I went and got food for the three of us. Ethlin’s busy with healing Dew and I don’t really want to leave Deirdre all alone.”

“Deirdre?” Azel had never heard the name before, let alone known there was someone in their camp called that. Had they picked up another random person from Verdane?

Sigurd scuffed a foot against the ground as he fiddled with the strap of his chest plate.

“They’re a shaman from the Spirit Forest, a very powerful mage who has come to help us defeat the dark magic that has the King of Verdane captive. They’re currently staying in my tent and, well, Azel?”

“Yes my Lord?”

“If you can tell whether Deirdre is a man or a woman, please let me know.” He let out an uneasy laugh and turned on his heel to leave their little cluster of tents.  Azel called after him:

“Excuse me my Lord?”

However he had already hurried away.

Azel sat there for a moment, not quite believing what had just been said to her. How could Sigurd not tell whether his new ally was male or female? She got to her feet, determined to prove his stupidity, and crossed over to his tent. It was pretty much like her own, except he didn’t usually have to share it.

“Excuse me.” She thought it best to announce her presence so not to startle this new arrival, “May I come in? Lord Sigurd wondered if you would like some company whilst he was away.”

“Yes, please come in,” came a soft voice from inside the tent. Azel pushed back the flap and entered. There, sat with a large ornate looking staff, was a person the likes of which Azel had never seen before. Their long hair was so silvery it seemed to reflect the staff’s glow. They were so pale overall that it was hard to believe they weren’t some fragment of light cast oddly from the night sky outside.  Ethereal seemed to be the right word here. Azel found herself slightly awed as she offered the stranger her hand and said

“My name is Azel, it’s an honour to meet you.”

The pale mage took her hand and clasped it gently. It wasn’t quite a handshake. It felt more like she was having a palm read at a fair, the way the mage turned her palm upwards and then let go.

“My name is Deirdre,” they replied. Their voice was soft but there was something a little masculine about it. Azel really couldn’t tell whether Deirdre was male or female so perhaps Sigurd wasn’t so stupid after all. Still, Deirdre would probably make some mention soon that showed who or what they preferred to be called apart from their name.

“Tell me Azel, where are you from?” Deirdre was staring at her with curiosity.

“I’m from the province of Velthomer,” Azel replied, sitting down opposite the shaman, “My big sister is the ruling Duchess there. It’s a long way east from here, the territory is mostly desert.”

“Desert? I’ve only ever heard about deserts from stories, what are they like?”

All in all, Azel came to like the mysterious shaman Deirdre.  She was none the wiser as to their gender but neither did she really care. They sat talking about deserts and stories until Sigurd came back. It turned out most of what Deirdre knew about the outside world came from storybooks. Azel was happy to answer any questions, though she had to admit that she didn’t have the most life experience either. Alvis preferred to keep her inside the grounds for her own safety. Still, some of the stories Deirdre had been told were much more fascinating that the bedtimes tales Azel’s nurse had whispered. The shaman knew a lot about strange old magics, the like of which had not been seen outside their forest for hundreds of years. Azel found herself drawn into tales of haunted groves and nature spirits. In return she told Deirdre all she knew about court politics, occasionally touching on stories of her sister's escapades.

“Your sister sounds like a marvellous woman,” Deirdre commented after a particularly long story about how Alvis discovered the Dukes were harassing maids into favours at court, and how she had put her foot down and stopped them in front of the King.

“You must be much like her.”

“Oh no,” Azel laughed a little nervously, “She’s much better than me…at everything really. She’s much more remarkable than I’ll ever be.”

“You are both very kind,” Deirdre added. Azel smiled and awkwardly played with her sleeve.

It took a surprisingly long time for Sigurd to return and when he did, it was with Cuan and Ethlin carrying five meals between them. Azel noticed that when they sat down Sigurd deliberately chose the closest spot to Deirdre he could get. Their knees kept knocking against each other and there was much awkward apologising and saying ‘excuse me’. Sigurd paid a lot of attention to the shaman, including an excess of compliments. If not for the fact that Deirdre made an effort to talk to her, this would have been a very awkward meal for Azel. Sigurd seemed to have accepted Deirdre into his little family unit without question so Azel felt she was intruding on someone’s family mealtime.  She kept quiet, considering if she could introduce the pretty shaman to Aideen at some point. It was then she remembered that prince Aideen never left the company of and her thoughts turned foul. She was too distracted to remark upon the fact that Cuan had been bold enough to ask Deirdre what she was. Her thoughts were on that prince, and on the archer and the thief. Aideen had so many admirers and yet she could never be one of them.

This resulted in a bad mood that continued to the next day when they packed up camp to move onto Verdane’s capital. She went looking for Lex to let him know she was ready to leave, only to have him shout at her:

“Go away!”

“Pardon?” she asked, coming closer. She was sure she had not heard that right. Lex had no reason to be so rude to her.

“I said, go away! She’ll be here in a moment!”

“What? Why?” She couldn’t help but feel insulted. Here she was simply telling him they were going to leave soon as he was shouting at her.  She was in a bad mood already and it was turning darker.

“Aira’s going to come here soon and if she sees you she’s going to think we’re together so you have to go away.”

Azel’s free hand balled into a fist. So that was it. Lex suddenly cared what other people thought because the pair of thighs he liked staring at was going to walk past.

“I said go,” Lex continued, “You don’t understand how awkward it is to have a girl around when you’re trying to get hold of a different one. People talk and get the wrong ideas.”

“What, like the people have been thinking we’re together for years? The people who mocked and cast shame on me for it and you …you didn’t care then! You let me suffer for it and now…!

“That was different,” Lex interrupted. He was obviously trying to shoo her away before Aira got there.

“How?” Azel demanded, “How is that any different? Because it’s now hurting you and not me? Because it affects you it’s now important to seem proper?”

“Look,” said Lex with an exaggerated sigh, “I don’t need you to go off on one like your sister. Just go and…I don’t know, braid your hair with Aideen or something.”

“No,” Azel stated, “No, I’m going to help Ethlin prepare medical supplies. I’m going to do something _useful_ whilst you ambush women who could easily take your head off.”

She strode off towards where she knew Ethlin was. They had talked last night and Azel had promised to help out in the morning. Aideen apparently needed time to recover from her ordeal and apparently she needed Jamke to help her do it. Therefore Azel was required to help Ethlin out so they could keep all their medical supplies together. Making herself useful was a good chance to forget about the fact not only had she sworn herself to someone who did even want her, now he had Lex to forget about as well.

She stormed towards Ethlin in such rage that she was immediately asked what was that matter. She told her all about what Lex had said to her and his rudeness.

“Men are stupid,” Azel concluded, continuing to roll up the bandages Ethlin had given her mid-rant.

“Most of them are, yes,” chuckled Ethlin, “But don’t worry, one day you’ll find a rare one that’s a little less stupid than the others.”

“What are you supposed to do with one of those?”

“Marry him of course,” Ethlin smiled at her and went to fetch her staff. Azel frowned at the bandages. Being in a relationship seemed to be the end of all things. It was a contract where your freedom and friendships were entirely dictated by the man you were bound to. Even if you weren’t in a relationship, men would dictate whether you were allowed to talk to other people anyway, so what use was marriage but an extra layer of rope to keep you tightly bound? No wonder Alvis had never married. Azel could see perfectly well why she mocked her suitors. Alvis could not be contained and if Azel wanted to be like her…

“I’m not going to ever get married,” she informed Ethlin.

She merely laughed and went about her way.

Azel was not contented by her casual dismissal. Marriage was nothing to laugh about. Why did everyone here think it was the best thing that could possibly happen to them? The more she thought about it the more she regretted being here. However Aideen need her, she said so herself. She would hate to disappoint Aideen.  She would hate to disappoint Alvis too, coming back and not being the proud warrior her sister deserved.  She still had to explain to Alvis why she wasn’t back yet. When she had finished with the bandages she went for paper, pen and ink. Her letter came out far too honest as she bit the urge to cry, scream, or simply _do something_ with her rage.

_“Dear Livvy,_

_Please forgive me for not coming home immediately after rescuing Aideen. I wanted to, you must believe me, however Aideen was scared about being left with so many men about and I couldn’t just leave her there. I don’t like war. I don’t like killing people. However I do now understand why you always kept me away from other people my age. I think I have fallen a little in love with Aideen and she makes me feel as if I would do anything for her. Please forgive me. I will be home as soon as she feels safe._

_With all my love._

_Azel.”_


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As her love for Aideen grows painful, Azel makes a friend through story-telling.

Azel wanted to set Lex’s bedroll on fire. Not with him inside it mind you, she didn’t want to murder him, but she wanted to provide him some discomfort nevertheless. She was feeling destructive and fire was just that. She wished she had the power Alvis did. The ability to summon flames in one hand without thought. With the exception of Falaflame and long ranged magic, Alvis could cast any fire spell without a tome.  Azel curled up and imagined what a figure she would make, striding through the camp, hands aflame. No one would dare insult her again! Especially not Lex, because he was scared of what Alvis could do and thus, would be scared of her. Fear wasn’t a way to get friends however.  Azel had often wondered if Alvis got lonely when they weren’t together. She never showed any signs of being so, however that didn’t mean she wasn’t. Azel still wanted to go home or at least tell Alvis about what Lex was doing. However her sister would probably think her petty and irritable, everyone else seemed to. When she had accosted Lex and asked him why six years of friendship was ignorable because of one woman’s legs, he had replied.

“Your sister has made you so naïve.” Before walking off to find the legs he wanted to ogle.

Azel tried to act unaffected. She distracted herself by making herself useful, telling herself that once Lex was either rejected or accepted, everything would go back to normal. Once Lex felt like he owned a woman, he would go back to associating with others. Not that Azel cared who else he associated with, she just wanted her friend back. At least this hadn’t turned into the current tale of Aideen and her Dozen Admirers. Well perhaps there weren’t a dozen but it felt like far too many. There was Azel herself, Prince Jamke, Midir, Dew the thief, and that knight of Sigurd’s that Azel didn’t know the name of. That was far too many. Aideen had full right to be intimidated by men after what had happened to her. Yet even after she had asked Azel to stay to protect her, she didn’t seem that scared.  When she wasn’t praying or healing, she would sit and draw men to her like bees to a flower.  She didn’t seem intimidated, she looked happy with this arrangement. Talking with them, laughing with them, and completely ignoring Azel in favour of them… She would sit outside her and Azel’s tent for hours with them, leaving Azel alone and hurt inside. She was only here because Aideen wanted her here and they spent barely any time together at all.

What was worse, Aideen managed to pick up on her dissatisfaction one night.

“Azel, glowering really doesn’t become you,” she said as they settled down for a night’s rest. For once she was actually sleeping in her own tent, Azel was convinced she was spending more time in Prince Jamke’s than her own.

“I’m not glowering,” Azel said, drawing her blanket over her nose

“If you say so.” Aideen was not going to be fooled. That was how perfect she was.

“What is wrong Azel?” she pressed, “You know you can tell me.”

That was the problem. Azel didn’t know. It had been weeks since she’d promised to stay and Aideen had barely spoken to her outside every day work.  However she couldn’t accuse Aideen of wronging her because then Aideen would never talk to her again. Azel would never want that. She decided to tell Aideen about Lex instead and pass that off as the sole reason she was troubled. Aideen listened very patiently as she extorted his many injustices, explaining how he had cast her into shame in the past. When she finished, she paused, waiting for Aideen’s reaction.

“Ah, men will be men.”

Azel blinked at her. Where was the pity?

“Excuse me?”

“That’s just how men are,” Aideen continued, “He’ll come back and talk to you eventually. You’ll just have to work round him for a while.”

“This isn’t just about me. He’s treating her like a lewd statue!” Azel protested, “He’s being a horrible pervert, perverted to her and horrible to me. Shouldn’t he be stopped?”

“Oh Azel,” Aideen sighed, “You’ve just got to understand this is what happens when you get older, people ch-“

Azel interrupted her.

“You got kidnapped because a perverted man viewed you as a possession and you don’t have any objections to the fact Lex is ogling that lady in exactly the same way!”

“It isn’t the same,” Aideen replied, her tone becoming serious, “What I went through was terrible and frightening, and everything done to me was against my own will.”

Her voice adopted a tragic note and Azel felt terrible for shouting at her.

“However, if Lex’s crush didn’t want people to gape at her, she wouldn’t be wearing such revealing clothing. She chose to wear that and she should know the consequences.”

“But-“ Azel frowned. There was some logic in her argument but it still didn’t sit fair. She didn’t think the swordswoman had chosen to dress like that because she wanted to draw men to her. The only woman was actually drawing men to her was Aideen.  No woman had any choice whether or not a man found her attractive or not. It was up to the man’s mind wasn’t it?

“Azel dear,” Aideen yawned, “It’s alright, you’ll get used to it in time. You’ve had such an isolated life everything is coming as a bit of a shock. Blame your lady sister, she has made you dreadfully naïve.”

“I guess so.”

It still didn’t sit right with Azel, however after that moment Aideen did pay a lot more attention to her. She seemed to think that she was educating Azel somehow by letting her sit amongst her throng of admirers and actually talk to her for a change. She was wise, Azel knew that, but her advice just seemed wrong. She wished desperately that her thoughts would stop returning to the notion that Aideen was perfect. She was but… such unsettling things came from such beautiful lips.  Azel didn’t know what to think. She took each day in a haze of frustration and anxiety.  It was wonderful that Aideen was talking to her but… Azel began to avoid her in favour of the only person of the campsite who would truly listen to what she had to say.

Deirdre, the shaman of the Spirit Forest, was like a glowing ember amidst a pile of ash. She was the oasis in the desert, the lone figure in the crowd, the... Azel thinking of metaphors over her tea and focussed on their conversation. She and Deirdre could talk for hours about nothing and still smile and enjoy themselves. Azel had never met a more fascinating person and that wasn’t because Sigurd was still asking to investigate Deirdre’s gender despite the fact she had said she was female. Deirdre knew things, both facts and stories, no one else knew and was so eager to share. She also loved to listen to Azel and asked questions about everything from court life to thunder storms. Perhaps it was because they were both naïve but nothing wiled away hours better than just sharing what they knew and learning about what they didn’t. Deirdre was kind and understanding and let Azel talk herself hoarse and to the edge of tears. She told Deirdre everything about Lex and Aideen, hiding nothing, not even her love for the cleric. Deirdre smiled and gently cupped her hands, palms upwards. It was a weird gesture, perhaps more common in the Spirit Forest, but Azel knew it was meant to be a form of comfort.

“Lady Aideen is firmly fixed into place by the expectations placed upon men and women,” Deirdre commented, “And like others, she seeks to reinforce them without even knowing it.”

“I guess they’re right then,” Azel murmured, “Alvis has made me naïve. She doesn’t fit those expectations at all and didn’t want me to either so she didn’t raise me to fit in..”

“She clearly has the best intentions,” Deirdre replied, “However others are too fixed in their traditional ways. Though the expectations differ slightly due to our isolation, it is much like that where I come from too. Not marrying or not bearing children makes others think you unwomanly...”

She sighed and Azel was suddenly struck by curiosity. That had sounded so personal, but why hadn’t anyone brought doubt onto her femininity? Deirdre was beautiful in her strange ethereal way,  she was also gentle and caring. Azel couldn’t see why anyone would think her unwomanly. Deirdre seemed to have noticed Azel’s surprise for she smiled.

“My body is incapable of bearing children… it makes some people say I’m unwomanly.”

“That’s horrible,” Azel exclaimed, “How could they? I…I think you are a very lovely woman Miss Deirdre, it doesn’t matter what your body can’t do.”

Deirdre smiled wider and Azel felt the heat rise to her face, embarrassed by the sudden strength of her indignation. How dare people insult Deirdre for being barren?

“You are very kind Azel, I am lucky to have you as a friend.”  Deirdre rose, still cupping Azel’s hands, forcing her to rise with her.

“What is it?” Azel asked.

“I want to show you something,” Deirdre finally let go of her hands and turned to leave the tent. Azel followed as they left their cluster and ignored the sight of Sigurd sitting by the fire sharpening his sword. They wound their way through tents and stacks of crates before finally coming to the edge of the camp. There, underneath a collection of spindly trees was a large bush full of white and pink flowers. Azel stared at them.  Were those when she was supposed to be looking at? She was fairly sure there were some in the gardens at Barharra, she once got given a tour there by the gardeners.

“We don’t have those in the forest,” Deirdre said, “What are they called?”

“Maiden’s Kisses, I think,” Azel replied, “Why do you ask?” It seemed a little odd that Deirdre had suddenly brought her all the way out there for flowers.

“I’ve seen them before,  I once had a nightgown patterned with flowers just like these. I think the night gown once belonged to my sister.”

“Your sister?”  Azel stared at her as the shaman delicately touched the wild blooms. Deirdre had never mentioned having a sister before. Azel had talked a lot about Alvis though, so why hadn’t she brought this up before?

“I think I had a sister at some point,” Deirdre explained, “My mother lived alone before I was born, however when I was small, she kept a bag full of strange ornate things, some of them were children’s clothing or toys, designed obviously for a girl.  She said, when I asked, they weren’t hers, so who else's could they have been? I think maybe, I might have had an older sister at some point and those clothes… they were mementoes for my mother to remember her by after she died. I was thinking about who she might have been whilst you told me about your sister and then I saw these flowers recently... Why would that nightgown have flowers on it from outside the forest? My family isn’t allowed to leave it.”

“Why not?” asked Azel. She felt a little bad about mentioning Alvis so much if Deirdre’s older sister was dead.

“The village elders say we are cursed.” Deirdre sat down by the bush and Azel followed her example.

“They say if any of us leave the forest we bring great misfortune upon the world... however the flowers mean my mother must have left the forest at some point and I don’t believe anything terrible happened.”

It was one of the oddest stories Deirdre had told her so far, it wasn’t really a story in fact, just a warning with nothing else to it. Were there reasons why the elders thought Deirdre’s family brought misfortune? Well, Deirdre had been with them for quite a while and nothing terrible had happened to them.

“That seems just like superstition” she commented. Deirdre nodded, but she looked uneasy.

“Hm, it seems that way. Yet I wanted to tell someone and I didn’t think Sigurd would take too kindly to the chance I might doom his army.”

“He probably would call it superstition too,” Azel assured her, “Nothing bad has happened because you’re with us, I think being here actually got better.”

Deirdre gave a nervous laugh.

“You are very sweet Azel.”

Azel came to look back at that conversation, to all her conversations with the shaman as halcyon days never to be found again. Sure Lex was an idiot and Aideen was unsettling, but Deirdre was constantly kind. Being about her meant being around Sigurd sometimes but that was fine. Sigurd always found Deirdre a mystery and Deirdre herself was never as open about him. 

Azel was able to forget her frustration around the shaman. There was no need for court civility, nothing dictated by class or gender… This must be what it was like when adults made friends. Deirdre was the first new friend Azel had had in a long time.

“Is she like Alvis by any chance?” asked Aideen after asking where Azel kept vanishing off to.

“Not really,” Azel replied into her blankets, “She’s not scary at all.”

“Hmph.” What Aideen meant by that, Azel never found out. However ‘hmph’ also summed up her reactions when Sigurd decided it was Lex’s turn to bodyguard her during a battle. Azel didn’t need bodyguarding, especially when Lex spent all his time fighting alongside his new lady love. He was perfectly jovial around Azel now, pretending their  “spat” had never even happened. Azel would not forgive him until she received an apology however. She broke away after deciding she wasn’t going to be their awkward extra companion anymore.  She could fight perfectly well by herself thank you very much. She decided to go and see if Deirdre was about.  Nothing to do with preference of course! Magic users should just stick together after all. After felling a few horsemen, she  hurried off back towards the way they’d arrived. Deidre was likely to be in the rear guard.

Yet she wasn’t there. Instead, Azel found Aideen and some of her usual entourage.

“Where’s Deirdre?” she asked, “Shouldn’t she be here?”

“She said had a bad feeling about something and charged ahead to find Sigurd,” Dew the thief told her, “Told her it was dangerous.”

“I’ll go protect her.” Azel charged off back the way she came and began a bloody search for a glimpse of pale hair.

She scoured the battlefield in vain. She managed to find Sigurd first and demanded to know where Deirdre had gone. He didn’t know, neither had she come to speak to him about her bad feeling like Dew had mentioned.  Soon Sigurd was searching for her too. Even as they won the battle, Deirdre’s disappearance weighed heavily upon all that knew her. They had searched everywhere, even pushing through the corpses of horses and men to try and find some trace of her. (Azel hadn’t done that herself, the thought of it turned her stomach too badly.) They were left with no sign, no trace that Deirdre had even existed except a spare place in one of their tents.

“I’m sure she’ll be alright,” Aideen told Azel as she sat awake at night, fretting, “She can handle herself fine. Perhaps she just went home.”

“She would have said goodbye,” Azel stated, “And her home is so far away.”

“Well…I reckon she’s in good health..” Aideen yawned and rolled over, showing that their conversation was over for the night.

As soon as she was asleep, Azel took quill, ink and paper out of her pack. She was worried, too worried. Alvis hadn’t responded to her last letter, or any of the letters she had sent but… maybe she would this time. Writing to Alvis always helped her in the moments she felt the worst, even if she didn’t get a reply, maybe it would help.

_Dear Livvy,_

_We are in Agustria now. We had to save the sister of Lion King Eltshan, one of Sigurd’s old friends. Little has changed but our location. I’m glad there are fewer trees but the lords here all seem very nasty. Aideen is doing well so perhaps I will be able to come home soon, though I don’t know the area very well so I might get lost trying to come home. Perhaps I should wait until we come back to our homeland._

_As for me, I made a new friend only to lose her so very soon. She was very kind and agreed with everything you say about ladies not having to marry or do all the horrible things expected of them. She was also a really good mage, we once mentioned learning from each other, but I guess that’s impossible now. I don’t really know what to do. I want to leave this army and come home, but Aideen is talking to me more now, and maybe I might find my new friend again if I keep fighting. What do you think I should do?_

_I know you haven’t replied to anything I’ve sent so far but please write back to me if you have the time. I miss you a great deal and sometimes get lonely, especially when I dream about home. Please tell me how you are doing and what life at home is like now._

_I think of you daily_

_Azel._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((AN: I know I put Deirdre's kidnapping a little forwards, she doesn't get kidnapped until chapter three in game. However this works out better plot-wise. Also I apologise for the shortness, the next one will definitely make up for it)
> 
> Next chapter: Azel's position as army mage gets challenged as well as her respect for the army. Also she meets a green haired man who likes cute women and is, in her opinion, a bit of an arse.


End file.
